Wednesday, October 12, 2011

A light shines to the future

a. This essay rose to the top because this is what i want to do with my life and how I want to go about making my dream come to life, also because Bridgewater is my top choice of the schools I visited over the summer.
b. One thing that I feel that this essay does well is that it maps out my life and what I want from my life and how I'll achieve it by studying at Bridgewater, and why I chose the profession that I wish to pursue. It stands out from the essay I have written for Salem state which is more personal because the topic is writing about and influencial person, but for me this one seems to stand out more because it is my life and goals for after high school.
c. One thing that I think needs work is the conclusion.
d. Does the introduction work for the topic and makes the reader want to read on and see what it's about.

Ideas, interests, success all start with one simple asking yourself the big questions, who are you and what do you want from your life, changes in personality or something happens personally I was always interested in culinary arts and now my goal is to open up a gym and study Athletic training.
            It seemed like everybody had a plan for me but choosing the path that I will forge my future from is my decision, family and friends may shed ideas but trusting yourself is the key to success because who knows someone better then themselves.  Following a path that someone sets for themselves is the key to not only success but to happiness.
            Trainers, strength coaches, personal trainers all study in the same fields of Sports Medicine/Athletic training all study at schools because they have goals set to train and help people, more and more trainers are needed because it is one of the fastest rising careers in the past several years.  This has been a growing interest for me ever since I started playing baseball, but then I switched to tennis because I felt that there are fewer trainers for tennis because it is not as popular as it once was, just like wrestling is. The first person that helped me with this decision was my father’s friend Bob, who, at the time, was working with a strength trainer and showed me many different exercises and programs that would help me in this field that I wish to focus on and pursue mo matter where I go I will help people.
            In my future I see myself owning a gym, walk in the door see wrestling mats, free wights, machines and everything else that people would want in a gym, which has a program to help and keep kids off of the streets and help them stay safe and give them an outlet for whatever reason if they need one. The hard part is getting the kids to come in the door, no matter who they are or what they have done, I want to help kids, everyone deserves a chance to do something with their life and a second chance to turn it around.  The more kids I help the more that may come in the door, I will help all the people that I can to give them a chance to have a good shot at staying clean and going to college, even at first if the kids don’t come in the door as long as there is one kid brave enough to come in on his own and asks for my help, that will make what I want to do worth it.
            Bridgewater is a great fit for me because the trainer at my school, I have visited the campus and absolutely loved it, the people were friendly and it has been a top choice since I have been looking at colleges. People I know that went there loved it and I loved it as soon as I started wandering the campus, and it is filled with great people and the environment is friendly and welcoming.
           


1 comment:

  1. I see a young man with a great goal that could end up being professionally successful and personally rewarding. I think the lead would be better if you crafted a scene describing the gym you would like to one day own, then describe why you want to do this and the steps you'll need to take to get there. Right now, the beginning is a bit too unfocused. This is a wonderful aspiration Pat. Bring it to life at the beginning and I think you'll have a winner here.

    ReplyDelete