A light shines to the future

a. This essay rose to the top because this is what i want to do with my life and how I want to go about making my dream come to life, also because Bridgewater is my top choice of the schools I visited over the summer.
b. One thing that I feel that this essay does well is that it maps out my life and what I want from my life and how I'll achieve it by studying at Bridgewater, and why I chose the profession that I wish to pursue. It stands out from the essay I have written for Salem state which is more personal because the topic is writing about and influencial person, but for me this one seems to stand out more because it is my life and goals for after high school.
c. One thing that I think needs work is the conclusion.
d. Does the introduction work for the topic and makes the reader want to read on and see what it's about.

Ideas, interests, success all start with one simple asking yourself the big questions, who are you and what do you want from your life, changes in personality or something happens personally I was always interested in culinary arts and now my goal is to open up a gym and study Athletic training.

            It seemed like everybody had a plan for me but choosing the path that I will forge my future from is my decision, family and friends may shed ideas but trusting yourself is the key to success because who knows someone better then themselves.  Following a path that someone sets for themselves is the key to not only success but to happiness.

            Trainers, strength coaches, personal trainers all study in the same fields of Sports Medicine/Athletic training all study at schools because they have goals set to train and help people, more and more trainers are needed because it is one of the fastest rising careers in the past several years.  This has been a growing interest for me ever since I started playing baseball, but then I switched to tennis because I felt that there are fewer trainers for tennis because it is not as popular as it once was, just like wrestling is. The first person that helped me with this decision was my father’s friend Bob, who, at the time, was working with a strength trainer and showed me many different exercises and programs that would help me in this field that I wish to focus on and pursue mo matter where I go I will help people.

            In my future I see myself owning a gym, walk in the door see wrestling mats, free wights, machines and everything else that people would want in a gym, which has a program to help and keep kids off of the streets and help them stay safe and give them an outlet for whatever reason if they need one. The hard part is getting the kids to come in the door, no matter who they are or what they have done, I want to help kids, everyone deserves a chance to do something with their life and a second chance to turn it around.  The more kids I help the more that may come in the door, I will help all the people that I can to give them a chance to have a good shot at staying clean and going to college, even at first if the kids don’t come in the door as long as there is one kid brave enough to come in on his own and asks for my help, that will make what I want to do worth it.

            Bridgewater is a great fit for me because the trainer at my school, I have visited the campus and absolutely loved it, the people were friendly and it has been a top choice since I have been looking at colleges. People I know that went there loved it and I loved it as soon as I started wandering the campus, and it is filled with great people and the environment is friendly and welcoming.

           

Summer reading responses

Patrick Counter   
13 September 2011
Mr. B.G.

                Summer Reading Responses
                Kite Running in West Texas
    1. My reaction to the story is that it seems like Alex took his time to incorporate both The Kite Runner and Friday Night Lights into one very well formatted essay.  My reaction to the story was that I thought it was very well done because Alex was able to create a picture in my head of every person in the town cheering in the stands for the home team and seeing the crowds go wild. What I remember from reading the story is that Mike, the quarterback, seeing the new kid, Amir, and going over to him and talking to Amir and asking him what position he is going to try out for. Amir he said receiver, then they got to talking because Mike was the quarterback and they were discussing plays that they would do.  This story made me think about the start of college football and the NFL’s opening game.
    2. What was best described was the opening paragraph because it was an awesome way to describe the start of football season, where there was also a solid description of the end of summer and describing football like it was about one book. “In the eyes of our town, football is the only sport.”  I though this line was well done because it was a nicely done transition to the second paragraph from the first.
    3. The conversation that the two characters had seemed that it could very likely happen in real life because they were both going to be on the same football team and it was the main character of one story talking to another character and it seemed like a well done dialogue. Also it was Incorporated into a well placed spot in the story.
    4.  One thing that I thought could have been better was that after reading the story was after I was beginning to read the second paragraph because i thought it would be about a big home football game, but after reading it it all came together in the end.

                Into the Hindu Kush
    1. This story was one of the best student essays that I have read in my three plus years of high school it was a very well crafted short story. Props to Nate.  After reading it I wish there was more to the story because I really like it.  What I remember is that Yuri had only accepted the mission because he wanted to get paid the two million U.S. dollars and he had to go to Afghanistan to rescue Amir.  When he was talking to a man he was told that he is as good as dead because the Taliban were still in the hill around the camp. Also Yuri Tush in the snow at the base of the mountain reminding him of Russia.  The concepts in my head were a search and rescue mission.  The story made me think about the movie Behind Enemy Lines.
    2. The best description in the sort story was all of the attention to detail that was in it throughout the whole story. Nate used the strongest description in the first and second paragraphs. “They were drawn together by an unbelievable fate, from completely different worlds, there wasn’t much to talk.”
I liked this line because it shows even though Yuri saved Amir’s life they were from two very different worlds and they knew nothing of the life of the other only drawn together by fate.
    3. The conversation between the characters was believable because maybe Amir wanted to learn about the man that had saved his life, also it was a good because it started off between two different characters and finished with Yuri and Amir.  The characters seemed natural because of the situation that was being described in the story and the first part of the dialogue seemed the most realistic because it set the course of the story
    4.  Something That I thought could have been better in the story is that there could have been a better transition from the paragraphs to the dialogue and then back to the essay.

Strangers in a Car

Pat Counter

September 6, 2011

Mr. B.G                              

Accel 12         

                                                Strangers in a Car (The Bean Trees and The

            Two characters from two very different worlds living on the same planet meet in one of the most unlikely places on Earth Kentucky and then she travels cross country and finally settles in Arizona.  Taylor Greer is a very caring person even though it isn’t shown in the beginning of the novel, but she begins to show a more sensitive side when she faces the person tragedy of her friends and helps to take care of them.  The other is Amir who feels that there could be a deep emotional connection between him and his father but there is nothing to show that in their relationship.

            Two strangers meet on a train in rural Kentucky that is bound for people who want a new beginning in Arizona.  Two unique individuals from two very different worlds meet traveling at a gas station where there is a young man who seems to be in need of help, Taylor goes over to the man and asks him “hey is everything okay young man?”

            “No, I am afraid that I have missed my bus.”

            “Where are you headed?” Taylor replied.

            “To Arizona.” He replied.

            “I am on my way to California so if you aren’t trouble I can give you a ride.” She said out of pity.

            “Thank you very much, my name is Amir.”  It doesn’t matter if we only go as far as Arizona just the fact that you are helping me means to much for me to even say Taylor. “Thank you it means so much that I will be able to see my family again.”

            “Your very welcome,” as the drive continued a cloud of silence fell upon the driver the passenger and the silent baby sleeping in the backseat.  They has just left Kentucky and were still making there way to Arizona, Amir had fallen asleep in the passengers seat, and with the weather finally cleared they were able to reach Arizona by mid day the next day.  They had finally arrived in Tucson Arizona, journey complete.  Taylor had first woken up her daughter, Turtle and got her all ready to go find there new home and told Amir. “far as I take you the rest is up to you my friend.”

            “Thanks you Taylor” he replied. “I don’t know how I could ever repay you for your kindness towards a complete stranger; maybe I could buy you a cup of coffee sometime?”

He told her because he felt like he had a debt to repay to her. 

            “There is a small shop by where I love, plus I could go for a cup right now, how about you?”       

            “Let’s go, do you want to walk or drive.” he asked her while they were standing wile the sun was beginning to settle on the horizon.

            Unfortunately, the sun had departed for the night and the stars in the night sky were beginning and they had agreed to meet at the coffee shop for a morning cup of coffee, the next morning when the each papered at the shops doors, “how’s your family Amir?”

            “Good, I came to see my son and wife because they need me in his life.”

            They each ordered a black coffee and a blueberry muffin and then left the way they cam each disappearing into the sunset back to the places where they were each drown to.

           

Summer reading Essay